Thursday, March 8, 2012

Half Fast (or half-ass)

I'm such a procrastinator! I sincerely keep meaning to talk about gardening but am easily sidetracked. That being said, this is a story resurrected the other night and is a must share.

A few months back, my father-in-law and I began discussing issues of teenagers receiving awards for little to no work, while other hardworking kids received the same award. I, of course, chimed in stating that I'm sick of rewards given for an incomplete job and the half-ass mindset.

My mother-in-law looked over at Thom and asked, "Did she just swear?" (Not a common practice in our homes, especially the in-laws.) The conversation then switched to Thom and me and went something like this-

Thom responding to his mother: Yup, she swore.
Cynthia: I did? What did I say?
Thom: Half-ass.
Cynthia: Wait, what did I say?
Thom: Half-ass.
Cynthia: What?
Thom: Half-ass.
At this point I decided to drop it. 

Driving home, I asked Thom again...

Cynthia: What swear did I say?
Thom: Half-ass.
Cynthia: That's not a swear.
Thom: Yes it is and why are you referring to it as a "swear"?
Cynthia: How is half fast a swear?
Thom: It is half of an ass.
Cynthia: No it means half as fast... half fast. I'm calling my sister.

Cynthia: Sue, do you know half fast is a swear?
Susie: Cynthia, it means half an ass. How did you not know this?

MY WHOLE LIFE, I've heard my dad say this word talking about 
spotty workmanship, but I always heard it as half fast...and after 15+ years of using this word (sometimes in church or important work meeting) I finally find the true meaning. I always wondered why it seemed like I caught people off guard in conversation.


  1. Oh my gosh, I am DYING! HA HA HA! I love you Cynthia Sue ;)! I love that you did a "swear" around your IN-LAWS! :)

  2. Thanks for my daily laugh! That's a story you'll be telling for years, and that's what family memories are made of!

  3. What a great story! I used to think that pick up trucks were pickle up trucks. I was never quite sure no one ever seemed to use them to haul around pickles though.

  4. That's funny!! thanks for sharing :)

  5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh Cynthia, I love you :)

  6. Very funny - I'm a new visitor from VB. Have a great day.

  7. Great story! Especially how long it took you to find out what the "real swear" was!

  8. This is one of my favorite stories ever. I called my sister and read it to her and we were both in tears laughing.

  9. That's great! I hope you explained to Thom's parents. Also, do you want to share it with my language blunder blog?

    1. love to...still new at the whole blog this. How do I do it. Oh- and I definitely explained. So embarrassing.

  10. I LOVE it! Thanks for the smile today. :) It reminds me of the many occasions I have caught my mom saying something goofy, like, "power for the course" instead of "par for the course." lol

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  12. OMG that is so cute! I have a friend who says, "It takes two to tangle" instead of "It takes two to tango", and another who says, "Grating on the curb" instead of "Grading on the curve"! Ha! I wonder what I've been saying wrong my whole life!?
    (new follower!)