My First Date

When asked to my first school dance, I couldn’t contain myself. Me, a gangly sophomore, asked by a junior! I received plenty advice from my sisters and parents on proper first date etiquette and couldn't wait to put it to the test.

Per dance tradition, dates were usually paired with more couples to make a large group. I met the group for the first time while at Galaxy Diner for a bite before the dance. Remembering the importance of first impressions, I became extremely focused on using correct silverware, chewing with my mouth closed and befriending new classmates. Then the balloon artist appeared....

The table became enthralled in the balloon creations. I was annoyed by the balloon artist and didn’t pay much attention until I took a gulp of water. That’s when I heard a laugh, more of a high-pitched squeal, from a guy in our group. That in turn made me giggle or more like gargle.

I started to choke.

My date asked, “Are you ok?” tapping my back lightly. Suddenly, through my nose and mouth comes my dinner (chicken and coleslaw). I couldn’t stop. I pulled my hands close to cover the lower half of my face and like a fountain, I filled my plate with vomit. It was a surreal moment where I saw everything happening around me in slow motion. All the facial expressions from group and tables near by are still vivid. 


While I watched the group of unknown classmates begin to dry heave, My plate began to overflow and my sweet date took noticed. “OH DEAR! OH DEAR!” he yelled as he cupped his hands and hesitantly drew them close to my face. Not knowing what to do, I used the friendly gesture and continued spewing poppy seeds and cabbage from my nose into his trembling hands.(I think of what he did now and realize what a gentlemen he was!)

Finally! I gained control over my reflexes and stood up to a table of silence and dropped jaws, along with our waitress almost in tears.  Still dripping poppy seeds from my chin, I watched as my date dumped my regurgitated meal from his hands onto his plate giving a few groans and maybe a whimper.

Let's just say that was our first and last date.


Sigh.